Wednesday, January 28, 2009

How's this for ironic?

So my grandma died on the 12th. We all know that. One of her favorite bands was Supertramp. Her favorite song was The Logical Song. For her funeral, I made a DVD and wanted to use Goodbye Stranger by Supertramp for the song. I got shot down however, since the majority of the people at the funeral wouldn't get it. So I picked another song that worked just as well and was more tear-inducing and funeral appropriate.

Fast forward to today. For our last semester we're doing a practicum, which is basically a short externship, at a hospital of our choice to help get our foot in the door to get hired when we graduate. We picked three places, and would get one of those. Well, it didn't work out that way and hospitals weren't wanting students so after some people not even getting picked, it boiled down to most of us probably getting a position we didn't really want, but we'd have to suck it up and be grateful.

We got our assignments today, and somehow I managed to get my first choice anyway, so now I get to be in the NICU at Phoenix Children's Hospital! I'm excited, but a lot of people were bummed so I felt bad. My first reaction was to get out my cell phone and call my Grandma since she's been waiting to hear where I got assigned to. She was so excited about me being in college and follows every detail of it. Then I remembered she's not here anymore, so I got sad. Got in my car, and turned it on. The song on the radio? Goodbye Stranger. I got chills.

Then, after getting gas and doing other things, I turned my car on again. The Logical Song was playing.

Coincidence? Maybe. But it makes me feel better to think that for once in my life, I had someone keeping an eye out for me and she wasn't letting it go unnoticed. That makes me happy. And I haven't been happy in a long time.

Monday, January 12, 2009

and the world shattered.

I randomly woke up last night at 3:45 and was wide awake. Thought nothing of it, peed, and went back to sleep.

My phone rang at 7:16am, it was my grandpa saying my grandma had died in her sleep overnight.

She wasn't sick. I just talked to her last week. It was totally and completely unexpected.

I loved my Grandma so much. I feel so out of control and lost. I don't even know what to say except I need this screen to stare at because it keeps me from laying in my room and screaming.