So all you hear all the time is that breastfeeding is natural, beautiful, healthy, cheap, etc etc. No one ever tells you that it's hard to learn, very painful at first for some, and that your nipples will look like a bag of smashed assholes for a few weeks. The kid is a damn barnacle and I swear I can hear my boobs calling out in the dark for mercy from the grinding of hard little gums.
Even with all that though, the idea of giving my kid a bottle doesn't appeal to me. Before he was born I didn't really have an opinion. I knew I was going to nurse him, mostly because it's free and better for him anyway. But I didn't really care if he nursed or got it from a bottle of pumped milk. Now, after several weeks of having him (which, by the way, I still feel in a haze and that the real parents of this kid will show up at any minute to pick him up) I feel his body conform to mine, watch his little hand hold tight to my shirt while his eyes stare into mine with a million questions and wonderings in them, and hear his sighs of content and I can't think of anything cooler in this whole world. Every time I take him to the pediatrician and he is weighed I am completely and totally awestruck that even on the outside, my body continues to put him together and give him the means to grow. Something that thousands of women have been doing for thousands of years still amazes me like it's the first time it's ever happened. Yeah he gets bottles a lot when my mom watches him or when Shaun wants to feed him. Sometimes I give him one when my bags of smashed assholes need a break. But I'll always put the plastic and fake nipples second. I had no clue until I experienced it. And now I know what people have been talkin' about.