Tuesday, August 25, 2009

No I will not buy you a fish.

For unknown reasons, Dean likes to ride in my car. Maybe because it's blue. Or because his car seat is cowprint. Who knows.

I'm a good driver, I swear. So it's not for the roller coaster effect or anything.

He wanted to go somewhere, so for lack of anything great to do, we went to Petsmart to look at the fish and frogs.

Guess it was the time of day, but for some reason the shopping center was filled with kids. Like, the annoying kind. Somewhere between 7th grade and freshman year....the awkwardness, the braces, the complete disregard for others around you.

There was a huge group of them in Petsmart, posing for a camera phone picture in front of the homeless cats. And screaming. And running around the store. Cats: "If we could claw your obnoxious eyeballs out, we would."

Dean and I were excitedly squealing over the fish (okay, Dean was, I was mentally calculating how long I'd have to hold one of those kids' heads underwater to drown them) when a girl in way too tight pants, hooker blue eyeshadow, and neon pink braces walks up.

"Hey, like, if I give you some money will you, like, buy me a fish?"
"Uh, why don't you buy your own fish?"
"Because I'm not 18."
"Then you need to come back with your parents and have them buy you a fish. I'm not lying and giving you a living creature for your entertainment purposes."

She proceeds to have a hissyfit. What are you, 12? Oh, yeah, you are.

Seriously! Go home! What the hell are you doing hanging out in Petsmart and Target after school on a Tuesday? Shouldn't you be at someone's house whose parents are at work, experimenting with weed and sex like everyone my age did? If you're not gonna do those things, then kudos to you. Go do your homework or volunteer somewhere. Or, better yet, get a job! So you can buy a fish when you turn 18!

When I have kids I wonder if I'll be looked down on for paying someone else to have them between the ages of 12 and 19. 

On that note, I do kind of find it humorous that while I've been asked many times to buy kids alcohol, I've never been asked to buy one a fish. When I was in high school, it was all about late night beer runs from Circle K. Now it's middle of the afternoon fish runs from Petsmart.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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love you sweets